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Stop Paying for People

Are you really helping or hurting?

Are you growing resentful for helping someone? Maybe you’re growing resentful about a boss who is always handing you emergency work as a result of their poor planning, or a child who seems to always forget they have an assignment due and you have to spend all night helping them prepare, or a friend who always calls when they need something but somehow they are never around when you are in need.

Could the frustration you are experiencing at work, at home, with your parents, with your kids, or with your friends be because you are taking responsibility where you shouldn’t be? When you step in to assume responsibility and rescue an irresponsible person, YOU pay the price for THEIR choices. It’s easy to think you are helping them, but in reality you are hurting them. To be more precise, you are enabling them to continue in this destructive pattern. 

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THE #1 Secret You’ve Been Missing

Everyone is looking for the edge that will take them to the next level. We are looking for the secret that will unlock a world that seems just beyond our reach. It appears that others have found this secret and are tight lipped. If we could just figure out what they know then all of our problems would be solved. We would finally be able to achieve our dreams.

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No matter what you are trying to do there seems to be a hidden secret.

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I’m Not Comfortable With That

Why Saying "No" Is Keeping You Stuck

The older you get the easier it is to say “no” to things you don’t want to do. When you were younger that wasn’t the case. You had to eat your vegetables, you had to go to school, you had to read, you had to meet new people. All of those “had to’s” were supposed to prepare you for adulthood with the hope they would eventually become “want to’s”. The challenge for most of us is that we weren’t internally motivated to complete those tasks, we instead were externally motivated by things like reward, positive affirmations or probably more likely punishment, guilt, and shame.

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Because we never internally saw the value in those “had to’s,” now that we have moved past the stage of others programming our lives we exercise our “mature” voice and say “no”. Maybe the “no” isn’t even audible, but it is still as powerful. Frequently saying “no” to things you’re not comfortable with is keeping you stuck and average.

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The Front Lines of Humanity

Who stands on the frontlines of humanity shaping culture? Who is the first line of defense against evil? Who fights on a daily basis to keep the forces of hell at bay that want to destroy our families? It’s mom.

January 26, 2012

Lots of people talk about the importance of the government shaping our world or the role teachers have in shaping the next generation of society. Some even extol the virtues of the arts and media in shaping culture. It’s true that teachers, the government, and media all play a role in culture, but behind every senator, activist, professor, artist, or movie producer was a mother….a mother who nurtured her child on a loving pathway or a mother who neglected her duties to train a child and guide his path.

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A Poor Formula for J.O.Y.

When I was a kid I was taught a simple acronym for finding and living with “joy.” The idea was that if you get certain relationships in the right hierarchical order you would experience joy. The acronym was J.esus O.thers Y.ou. Jesus first, Others second, and You last.

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The longer I’ve been a pastor the more harm I’ve seen come from people who use that as a formula for joy. I’ve seen people harm themselves and their most significant relationships all the while wondering when the “joy” would kick in.

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Dreaming of the Weekend

Lots of people wish the week away waiting for the weekend. When the weekend finally rolls around they don’t have a plan to make it count and they face Monday morning feeling more drained and tired than they did the week before. Is it possible to spend your weekend in a way that actually charges you up instead of wearing you down? Is it possible to actually face Monday on FULL instead of empty?

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The Most Important Day of the Year

As I think back over my short-ish life there have been days that have stood out more than others. Certain days just seem bigger and better. Those are the days I’ll never forget. Days like when I asked my wife to marry me, my wedding day, the birth of my children, the day I found out we were having a third child (shocker!), baptizing two of my children, finishing my doctorate…I could keep going and I’m sure you have days that just stand taller than others too.

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One day stands taller than any other. It was a day I wasn’t even alive for, but yet it made me alive in ways I never thought possible.

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Finding Meaning in Your Evening

We have been looking at how your routine is perfectly designed to get the results you are currently getting. If you don’t like your results you need to change your routines. You already have a routine in these areas and a few small changes could create dramatic results.

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Today, I want you to think about the most meaningful part of your day – your evening. I say it’s the most meaningful part because chances are you are spending that time with the most important people in your life, your family. They are the very reason you are working so hard and the evening is when you have the largest block of time to spend with them on a daily basis. You already have an evening routine, just consider if it promotes harmony or more stress in your home?

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Lunch Hour of Power

We’ve been looking at the hidden power of routines and how they are the key to unlocking a life you feel is outside your reach. If you don’t like the results you are getting you are going to have to do something different. Your routines are the key.

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Today, I want you to think about your lunch routine. You do take a lunch, right? Why not? Many people don’t get paid for lunch so why work through it? You know you aren’t going to leave earlier if you work through lunch–so take the hour break. Use that time to refuel your body and emotions.

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Come Alive While You Drive

I’ve been writing about the hidden power of routines and how they are the key to unlocking a life you feel is outside your reach. Your routines will help you accomplish astounding goals. The life you are living right now is because of the routines you have established.

Right now, I want you to think about your morning commute. What is your default routine as you drive to work? Do you listen to trashy talk shows, celebrity gossip, or sports radio? Are you already making phone calls? Eating breakfast (if so you need to read this post)?

Commute

What if you redeemed that time and instead of wasting your commute used it to grow and develop into the person God has created you to be? Zig Ziglar, who taught Sunday School at my friend’s church, used to call it “Automobile University.” There are amazing resources you can listen to that will encourage and equip you to be the best at what God has called you to do. Many of these resources are even free! iTunes University has tons of free courses (some from your alma mater), not to mention the numerous quality podcasts that are out there. You can even listen to the New Testament on your commute. I did this and was able to listen to the New Testament in 40 days. I loved it and it has become part of my yearly routine.