When I was a kid I was taught a simple acronym for finding and living with “joy.” The idea was that if you get certain relationships in the right hierarchical order you would experience joy. The acronym was J.esus O.thers Y.ou. Jesus first, Others second, and You last.

The longer I’ve been a pastor the more harm I’ve seen come from people who use that as a formula for joy. I’ve seen people harm themselves and their most significant relationships all the while wondering when the “joy” would kick in.