I’m sure you have some expectations of your church and pastor. If they don’t meet those expectations you’ll probably be looking for a new church.
I’ve always found that reality interesting because very few people leave a church because of weird theology or some flagrant sin on the part of the leadership.
Usually people leave because of unmet expectations…the more unrealistic your expectations the more churches you’ll be part of in your lifetime. (As a side note how many churches have you been part of?)
Hopefully you haven’t looked for the unsubscribe button yet. So if you have some expectations (we looked at healthy ones last week) of your pastor what are some Biblical expectations they should have of you?
I realize that because I’m a pastor this can sound self-serving. I’m willing to take the risk because so many people I know are first-generation Christians and have no idea what their role is in this unique relationship with their pastors. What will they teach the second generation of Christians?
If everyone is left to their best guess we will be in a mess.
Maybe that’s why some church experiences are a mess.
So here are my thoughts on what pastors should be able to expect…
1. Followership
For most of us when we read that…it just irks us. We think of mindlessly following someone off a cliff. God isn’t encouraging you to check your mind at the door, instead Scriptures are encouraging unity.
Scriptures are encouraging you to start from a place of trust. Trust that your spiritual leaders have your best interest in mind. Trust that they aren’t trying to manipulate you or use you. Trust that they are trying to help you and the church become all that God has intended it to be. Trust that your leaders are privy to information that you might not be. Trust that they are looking at things from a broader perspective than what you might be able to currently see. Trust that God speaks to your pastors.
Do you start from a place of trust or from suspicion? If you start from a place of suspicion you’ll never enjoy any church experience. You’ll always find something to be cynical of. Be careful of placing someone else’s sins or shortcomings on your current pastor.
God will hold pastors accountable for where and how they lead the church.
God will hold you responsible for how you followed.
I read a story a few years ago that rocked me to my core. The story was about a spiritual leader who had a large congregation and everything seemed to be going great until one of the staff members decides to lead a mutiny. It resulted in a third of the congregation leaving. Of course this is when people whisper… If only the pastor was more available…was more personable…was more whatever this wouldn’t have happened. The leader who suffered this split decided to start a new congregation in a different location. This group was super small and this time it didn’t split…he lost it entirely! He was able to recapture some of those who were lost but it cost him a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.
This first leader had a close family member who also went into the ministry. He was an excellent communicator. In fact, thousands would come to listen to him. However he was plagued with retention problems, turnover, and staff problems. His staff fought amongst themselves. They were competitive. One staff member even embezzled ministry funds. Another staff member had a short temper and physically assaulted another with a deadly weapon.
WOW!!!
Would you want to work for one of those spiritual leaders?
Would you want to go to a church where one of those spiritual leaders was at the helm?
Who were those spiritual leaders? God the Father & Jesus.
(Lucifer was the first staff member who led a mutiny in which he took a third of the “congregation” with him. God, the Father, decided to start a new work on Earth with Adam and Eve which cost him a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to recapture what was lost. His close family member was Jesus. His disciples fought about who would be the greatest. Judas embezzled ministry funds and Peter took a swipe at a guard with a sword.)
Consider this…Was the problem a leadership problem?
Was God a bad leader? Was the problem that Jesus wasn’t a good leader?
OR…
Was it a followership problem?
Good leaders need the type of people who will say, “Do what you think is best, I’m with you completely, whatever you decide.” (1 Samuel 14:7) It’s difficult for a church to do great things for God when there isn’t unity.
2. Honor
How you speak about the office of the pastor matters. How you speak about the person in that office matters. Your children pick up on your attitudes and how you talk about the pastor and how you treat him. If you constantly bad mouth the pastor and the church you attend what do you think your kids’ opinion will be of church? Do you think your children will want to continue in the faith if you are constantly running everything down?
I once had someone tell me they couldn’t find a single good church in the area. They could name something wrong with all of them and within a few weeks they found something wrong with my church too. They failed to realize what the common denominator was. The problem wasn’t all of the churches…they were the problem.
What you are honoring is the office. You are honoring the position and the person God has placed in this position. We see this with David in the Old Testament honoring Saul…even though he didn’t deserve it. David was honoring the position and the fact that God put him there. You are honoring the fact that God is in charge of who is in charge.
I try to teach my children not to refer to our President as simply Obama, but to call him President Obama. It’s showing respect for the office and for whom God has placed there.
Lots of people in my area didn’t grow up going to church so people ask me all the time what title they should call me. I joke and tell them to address me as, “The Holy Reverend Father Dr. Lilly.”
I just let it hang there.
I do think “Pastor” is appropriate. The title reminds everyone what this is all about. It’s not a buddy-buddy relationship. It’s a spiritual relationship that God has established to be in your life.
When you think about the spiritual leaders at your church do you think they feel overwhelmed with your appreciation? When was the last time you thanked your pastor for a message or providing care, for your children’s pastor for all of the hours poured into helping your kids love Jesus and His Church, your executive pastor for all of the ways they keep your church running, your worship pastor for making sure you have amazing music each week so you can just sing to Jesus, your student pastor for creating an environment your MS/HS student actually wants to attend. I’m sure I could go on, but you get the point. Lots of people are working hard to help you not only in this life, but also in the next.
If it is one pastor doing all of that for your family…you really need to express your appreciation (and hire more help)!
Write them a note, an email, give them gifts…overwhelm them with appreciation.
I read somewhere that it takes 10 positives to make up for 1 negative. So if your pastor received 2 negative emails, he’ll need 20 encouraging ones just to get him back to zero.
I’m sure you are happy and love your church, but have you told your pastors that lately?
3. Take care of their needs
This is really an extension of appreciation. There is a strong Biblical foundation for taking care of the physical and financial needs of your pastors. Anyone who tells you a pastor shouldn’t be taken care of financially hasn’t read the Bible.
“Muzzle an ox” was a cultural expression that reflected the practice that greedy farmers used to keep oxen from eating from the wheat they were grinding. Paul is saying don’t be like that stingy farmer. It’s not right to not take care of the needs of your spiritual leaders.
4. Pray for them
If Satan wanted to bring down your church and cause great shame to it what is the most strategic way to do that? Attack a few families who just show up on Christmas and Easter? No, the high value targets are the pastors.
If Satan can bring them down the collateral damage is huge. Some people will feel disillusioned, maybe feel like they can’t trust anyone again. Some may walk away from the faith and church entirely. They walk away not because the Bible isn’t true or Jesus isn’t who he said He was, but because of an imperfect human pastor who believed the lies of Satan’s temptation.
Pastors don’t have a heavenly force field around them that makes it impossible for them to sin or do wrong. We are tempted with the same things you are. It’s just as hard for us…maybe harder… because we are a high value target. Pray for your pastors!
What should you pray?
Pray that our minds will be strong and clear.
Pray that our eyes stay fixed on the author and finisher of our faith.
Pray that our mouths speak the truth and life.
Pray that our ears can hear the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Pray that our hearts will be pure.
Pray that our spirit doesn’t grow fearful or discouraged.
Pray that our backs will be stiff and courageous.
Pray that our hands are humble to serve.
Pray that God gives us wisdom as we lead.
You probably have requested prayer from your pastor at some point, but do you pray for your pastors? They need it.
Lead your children at night to pray for them. What better way to teach your children that your pastor is appointed by God to be your spiritual leader?
Before you click back or close your browser would you pray for your pastor? Why not send them an email expressing your appreciation? It will mean more than you think!
