As a pastor one of my responsibilities is to conduct funerals from time to time. I’m often asked if I dread doing funerals. My response is always the same…I’d rather do a funeral than a wedding.
They typically look at me with the same look you made when you read the title of this post.
Don’t get me wrong I think weddings are great! (Who doesn’t love a party?) Weddings are full of joy, the celebration of love, and full of bright hope for tomorrow.
I’ve been the officiant at dozens of weddings…and funerals. I’ve also sat with just as many people whose marriage was falling apart. They were experiencing the funeral of their marriage.
When I’m officiating a wedding I love the power I have. Let’s face it, they wouldn’t be married without “the power invested in me…I now pronounce you…” Even with all that power I sometimes feel like the flowers…a necessity that will soon be forgotten. I’m not referring to my memory or my name in some narcissistic way, but the words that my position represents on the wedding day… “as a minister of the gospel.”
As couples repeat after me… “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” …I wonder how long they will remember their vows to God before they come up with reasons not to honor them. It makes me wish I had real power to keep them together, but alas I’m no better than all of the king’s men trying to fix Humpty Dumpty.
At weddings I get the feeling that people want my part (or the part I represent) to not be too long so they can get on with the real festivities.
But funerals are different.
Funerals are the real celebration of true love, and joy for the bright hope of tomorrow. Funerals showcase the honor of vows kept in the noblest of fashion. Spouses who stand by a casket know the pain they could never have dreamt of when they said, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” Now they know the struggle of selfless love and the joy of finishing well, something newlyweds only think they understand.
When I stand to speak at funerals people aren’t looking at their watch anticipating the open bar. Instead people’s souls are thirsty for Truth and understanding. The same scriptures that are opened and endured during a wedding are opened and savored at a funeral.
Funerals are where the reality of your worldview and its validity is brought to bear. Because if your worldview doesn’t bring you comfort and joy…yes, joy…during the loss of your spouse or loved one, you need a new worldview.
Because in that moment you need to know, not guess, not hope so, not “I feel…” you need…to know it’s true or if you have been believing a lie. (What is your worldview about death? How did you arrive at that conclusion so confidently?)
Funerals are where the true beauty of the worldview of Jesus Christ shines forth…it breaks the darkness…death has lost its sting…the grave has no victory…because the story is not over. We stand with bright confident hope for tomorrow because we know the end of the story and we are not at the end.
We know this from the only person to ever come back from the dead. The same person who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father.” He proved His worldview by raising himself from the dead.
So…I go with Jesus.
Jesus made a promise to his dear friend Martha who was mourning the loss of her brother at a funeral… Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying” (John 11:25). He proved He was serious by raising her brother from the dead.
When you read this entire story in John 11 one of the striking things to me is how it describes Jesus being angry. He was angry because this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. This was not the world that God had envisioned for mankind. He was angered by death, sorrow, and the devastation that was brought upon our world because of sin. This sense of loss and suffering was never God’s plan for us (John 10:10).
It’s an anger we all feel at some point during a funeral. We feel that the story can’t be over, it was just getting started. We would be right.
Jesus came to start the process that would make the story right again.
We may not all end up at the marriage altar but we will all have an end one day. I don’t like funerals any more than the next person, but every loved one will have one. The acceptance of the message and forgiveness of Jesus is the only reason we can face it with hope (1 Thess 4:13). It’s the only way we will be reunited with them again.
In heaven there will be no more funerals and I can’t wait! Because of Jesus the sadness of any funeral will never have to be repeated again. There will be no more sadness, sorrow, sickness, cancer, pain, or death. All of that will have ended.
But you have to make a choice. The choice is not whether you think funerals or weddings are better, but do you believe Jesus was who He said He was…
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” -John 14:6
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
You’ve got a lot riding on whatever you believe.
